You can be content but not happy,
Or is it happy but not content? I can’t remember. I do remember in the early years of my marriage my wife and I having a long discussion or debate maybe even an argument about this. Whatever it was, I am married long enough now to know she was correct. There has been a lot of conversation about the semantics around each word. One seems to be a mood, while the other is more a disposition. One an effect the other a choice? Which is which and what does it matter? I have found that as I get older, a quite discontent has driven me. I was not always driven. In my younger years I was discontent through immaturity, this stage probably lasted longer than it should have. Actually it definitely did. Every coin has two sides. Most things can be channeled for positive or negative means. Through the intervention of some wiser mentors (see more about mentors here), I was influenced to change. Seeing happiness modeled in other people’s lives allowed me to be able to set about changing for the positive. The difference began to be clear. It was around about then I started to read Covey and Earl Nightingale. I learned that I could be discontent with situations or outcomes and yet still learn to be happy in my life. I could allow the discontent to be fuel for the engine that drives me to achieve greater results. The trick is to not allow the discontent to bleed into other areas of your life. Regardless of what we still have left to achieve we must never lose sight of the fact that we have so much to be grateful for. Gratitude is the catalyst that allows us to keep it positive. After all life is short. The most valuable resource available to us all is time. With the finite resource of time we must ensure that we leverage it to maximize every day. Our days are too rich and full regardless of the balance left to achieve… So today, stop and be mindful for the gratitude we must have… Then filled with gratitude, allow that discontent to be our fuel. Attack the day and tackle the list, just remember to be happy that you have the privilege to do so. Be happy !
0 Comments
So I have the picture above on my blog. It is a Picasso.
As an artist he had a series of line drawings of animals…see them here. I like this one for a few reasons. First I have turned into one of those guys that rescues Dachshund from the pound. They are great. About the only downside is that every once in a while you will be taking them for a walk and someone will drive by and yell “wiener” really loud. Not great for my wife as she walks the kids to school, although the kids think it is hilarious. The main reason I love the drawing is for its simplicity. It conveys all of its essence in a single line drawing. There is an idea I have heard that if you can’t explain something simply you don’t understand it well enough. The better the idea the more simple the explanation. Art has known this for years…this picture speaks to me. Can you explain your business simply to a prospect? Can you explain your department’s role and mission to your team? Is it a unifying call to the team, something they hear, internalize and then act upon? This is the gift of simplicity. In the simplicity comes the power. Science knows and backs this up. They even have name for it. Ockham’s Razor or the Rule of Parsimony. "Don’t do with more, what can be done with less". (Read more here) The idea is that if there are competing ideas that may work, then it is generally best to pick the simplest. The least assumptions needed the better. The plan or idea with the fewest moving parts is preferable. Easiest to communicate. Easiest to feel, and ultimately act upon. Communication is easy, in fact it is impossible not to communicate. However,effective communication is actually quiet hard. There is a story that when Cicero spoke people said “How well he spoke” When Demosthenes spoke, people said “Lets march”. If action is the key then we need to grasp the concept of simplicity. So, as you set out to communicate with your team, customer, or loved ones remember to strip away the complexity and keep it simple. Think like Picasso, strip away all the excess till what you have left is the great idea. Cut away the unnecessary and leave only the essential. The pure distilled idea. It’s the lesson great art can teach us... P.S. rescue a wiener-dog here Seriously, I am asking…for a friend.
I guess I should explain what I mean, I am talking about the busyness that seems to creep into our lives. You can see it in the way we run around. The way we pass each other on the way to more busyness. I guess there is a security that comes with being busy. If I seem busy no one can accuse me of not trying, right? The downside is that there is only so much time in a day. We see it in the way we make an effort to “Manage time”. Look at all the books committed to trying to manage time. I think it was Stephen Covey’s that said it best “you can’t manage time, only yourself”. Yet, that is what we try to do, we download the latest app or get another planner. Each New Year. Each resolution. All with an attempt to manage time. We make the effort because things do need done, but which things. Covey talks about the idea of urgent vs. important. (Here is a template). We all have many important things that need done. Big things with long term consequences. Yet we all have urgent things in our life. The next email, the ringing phone. We must decide which we will pay attention to today. Perhaps if we changed the measurement we would like what we see more. It is a simple shift. From Activity to Productivity. Shouldn’t it be less about how much stuff we are trying to get done and more about what we get done? The author Tim Ferriss writes about this in detail much better than I do. The ideas of minimum effective input for maximum output (see here for one of Tim’s excellent blog posts) He discusses the universal Perato Principle or 80/20 principle. 80 percent of any of our results come from 20 percent of our efforts. (See here) Until I decided it was more important what I got done than how busy I appeared I could not develop the discipline required to change. It is scary giving up some of the busyness…but to accomplish things that is what it takes. Maybe that’s you too… Maybe today you want to get more done, take a brutally honest look at your calendar and take an axe to anything that might hold you back…be brave. The world need less busy people and more people that bravely get things done. OK, maybe you should.
I was prompted by a story I heard on a podcast. A woman corrected her young child in a store for saying thank you to an employee that had just passed them some ice cream. The mother explained that this person had a job and that meant they did not need to say thank you. Interesting concept and interesting parenting choice. It challenged me. I am a habitual thanker. Why? Is it still relevant? Anyway I slice it, I still think it is good, but in defense of this headline and the parent…here is where I have come out. I try to thank my team mates. I am sure I am not the easiest person to work with, but I truly appreciate what they do every day. Without them our mission would be impossible. They are the ones that do it. All of it. The grind and the good. They are the ones to fulfill any promise I make. I am thankful. I really try to thank our customers. They have a choice. They have a phone book, they have Google. I see the competition. My ability to achieve my goals and dreams is directly related to the people that choose to do business with me. I am thankful. Not in an asymmetric way, but in a way that lets them know I get it. They had a choice. They did their homework, they made a choice. They are trusting us. I recognize that people don’t love making decisions. I am thankful. Maybe the point I am challenged by is that it shouldn’t be just words. Maybe that is the point. Maybe I use it too cheaply. When I express thanks, am I really summing up my feelings of gratitude’s or is it an empty platitude. A bookend to a conversation. As always the audio must match the video. What we say has to match what we do…I resolve to have my actions match my words. Perhaps we can all engage just a little more deeply, communicate more sincerely and thank a little more. So go ahead forget the headline and say thank you, just really mean it. Thank you for taking the time to read this…I am grateful. There was a time in my life when I was sure of everything.
Then there came a time when I was sure of nothing. As I started out in the workplace I developed the bad habit of not being honest in my self-appraisal. Call it false humility. Low self-esteem or just setting a standard too high. I could never cut myself the slack I naturally extended to others. It evolved into a habit of not being confident about my skill set and what I had to offer the world. Unfortunately like many immature people I probably over compensated with bravado or cockiness, all the time questioning myself. This is where I had the unmerited favor to be found by a mentor. I have had more than one or two mentors along the way. Coming into my life for the season required. They had the ability to speak into my life at the right moment in the right way. They spoke in a way that was uplifting and encouraging without using false platitudes. They didn't take the shortcut of just trying to give an ego boost. Along the way mentors have shared their time, their skill and allowed me to come alongside to learn. Some even put me in a position to execute in a way that would allow me to discover the things that they had seen from the very beginning. To be clear, I made and still make mistakes. True to form mentors are there with sensitive, honest feedback that allows me to continue the process of growth. Today, while still on a journey of working hard with goal centered improvement, I am so very thankful for those that took the time to mentor me and set me on this path. To all the mentors that see a spark and take time and effort to help fan the flame of development…I hope you get the opportunity to know the difference you make. If you were made better by a mentor, take the time to make sure they know the difference they made. When we develop people, we develop families. We develop business and communities. The rising tide lifts all boats. We are all better because of it. So you set the goal. Work hard. Hit it…now what? What next…? Much has been said about how to set a goal. Spending time to identify and set a goal. Getting through the process to achieve it. We are told to set the goal, identify the obstacles, and create plans to overcome them. Timeline it with required resources…Rinse, lather, repeat. When I was younger there was no end to goals I wanted to achieve. Maybe that was you too? We start off with maybe a few easy ones, you hit them and then you start to get the hang of it. Time to celebrate and enjoy it, you earned it. As you get older you focus in on the big goals. What do you want for your family? What do you want to learn about next? How much money do you want to earn? What role do you want to have next or end up in? What kind of company do you want to work for? These goals can start to be really big and need years and maybe even decades to figure out. If you are lucky and you factored all the variables you hit the goal. If you do the process right, you pick good goals, hard goals, goals that take time. You hit them…it is great, maybe even life changing. …but here’s what is not discussed, written, or blogged about. Then what? In my experience it can create a vacuum. You have been working on the goal for a while. It has been your compass and direction, your North Star. Every day you knew what you were working towards. That vacuum can be tough to overcome. A sky without stars is tough to navigate in. It can feel rudderless, directionless. However, this is just the illusion that comes about from being rusty. Too much time spent working on goals rather than setting them. The trick is getting back to the beginning. The imagining stage. To see the world as is it could be. You have done it before, you just need to remember the way. If this is where you are, remember you are one of the lucky ones that has set and hit a goal. Get out the blank page and think of the future again. Only this time go bigger. This time go further. You will be so glad you did. |
Authorthese are just the thoughts of someone who used to know more but now knows less... This website uses marketing and tracking technologies. Opting out of this will opt you out of all cookies, except for those needed to run the website. Note that some products may not work as well without tracking cookies. Opt Out of CookiesCategoriesArchives
June 2023
I would love to hear from you on your thoughts and feedback... |